Some afternoon humour
13-Sep-2004, 02:40 PM
#1
Guest
Posts: n/a
Some afternoon humour
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful...CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!
You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them!
TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to
get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK!
Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when
you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY?
Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you
always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him. "What the hell is wrong with you?
You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels
like when I'm driving with you in the car....
Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful...CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!
You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them!
TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to
get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK!
Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when
you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY?
Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you
always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him. "What the hell is wrong with you?
You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels
like when I'm driving with you in the car....
13-Sep-2004, 11:21 PM
#8
Registered User
Join Date: May 2004
Location: North York, Toronto-Downtown, London
Posts: 2,316
the most common one i hear from my girl is "you're speeding"... and u know what... my speedometer is only 10km/hr over the limit!!!
when it comes to a turn.... "you're turning too fast"... and u know what... my speedometer is only 20km/hr....
when we see the upcoming light is red.... "please brake the car now, its RED LIGHT"... and u know what.... i've just passed a light a second ago... there was a long way before i even reach the next light......
when it comes to highway driving... "you're following too close"... and u know what... i was like 3 car spaces behind......
and the freakiest of everything.... she suddenly screams... and i would get freak out like i've just hit someone.... then she's like "there's a dead (animal) on the road"... then i would get pretty pissed and said "if you want to see the next dead thing to be a person, then keep screaming" (then she knows i'm really pissed about it)
when it comes to a turn.... "you're turning too fast"... and u know what... my speedometer is only 20km/hr....
when we see the upcoming light is red.... "please brake the car now, its RED LIGHT"... and u know what.... i've just passed a light a second ago... there was a long way before i even reach the next light......
when it comes to highway driving... "you're following too close"... and u know what... i was like 3 car spaces behind......
and the freakiest of everything.... she suddenly screams... and i would get freak out like i've just hit someone.... then she's like "there's a dead (animal) on the road"... then i would get pretty pissed and said "if you want to see the next dead thing to be a person, then keep screaming" (then she knows i'm really pissed about it)
14-Sep-2004, 12:00 PM
#12
Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: -
Posts: 1,769
Originally posted by t_dot_SiR
and the freakiest of everything.... she suddenly screams... and i would get freak out like i've just hit someone.... then she's like "there's a dead (animal) on the road"... then i would get pretty pissed and said "if you want to see the next dead thing to be a person, then keep screaming" (then she knows i'm really pissed about it)
and the freakiest of everything.... she suddenly screams... and i would get freak out like i've just hit someone.... then she's like "there's a dead (animal) on the road"... then i would get pretty pissed and said "if you want to see the next dead thing to be a person, then keep screaming" (then she knows i'm really pissed about it)
yah, when ever this happens, I just tell her to relax, its just sleeping
14-Sep-2004, 12:07 PM
#13
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: on a race track
Posts: 17,846
ok here's how to fix there "issues" with your driving:
(this was actually done by a friend of mine to his Wife... they are still happily married)
1) go on a long drive
2) wait till the other half falls asleep
3) find transport trunk while still asleep
4) move up really closely behind transport truck
5) scream as loud and as seriously as you can "We're going to DIE!!"
6) hit brakes for effect
7) get ready to stop car and take beating of your life
please ensure no one is behind you when you do this
(this was actually done by a friend of mine to his Wife... they are still happily married)
1) go on a long drive
2) wait till the other half falls asleep
3) find transport trunk while still asleep
4) move up really closely behind transport truck
5) scream as loud and as seriously as you can "We're going to DIE!!"
6) hit brakes for effect
7) get ready to stop car and take beating of your life
please ensure no one is behind you when you do this
14-Sep-2004, 01:27 PM
#19
Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Orangeville,ONT,Canada
Posts: 950
I had a buddy do something simalar to his girlfriend in his mustang but he was going around a sharp turn when he screamed. He was laughing so hard he ended up losing the corner and spun out. They werent hurt but his ego was. (lol). He needs to work on that Pony's cornering skills before he pulls that again!
14-Sep-2004, 01:38 PM
#20
Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 270
i just freak out along with the girl.... after a while... they shut up... throw you arms in the air and yell 'oh my god'.... jump a bit at a left turn and make it seem like you're going to go.... things like that.... they finally shut up or just don't sit in your car.
either way, you win.
either way, you win.
