Why rental cars are better than regular cars...
09-Aug-2003, 07:19 PM
#1
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Seething with anger at idiotic drivers on Steeles Avenue
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Why rental cars are better than regular cars...
Got this through email and I thought that I'd share. 
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Rental cars are better than regular cars because...
1. They travel faster in all gears, especially reverse.
2. They accelerate at a phenomenal rate.
3. They enjoy a much shorter braking distance.
4. They can take bumps at twice the speed of private cars.
5. Oil, battery, tire pressures and fluid levels do not need to be checked nearly so often.
6. They have a much tighter turning radius.
7. The floor is shaped like an ashtray.
8. They only burn the cheapest gas available.
9. They do not have to be garaged at night.
10. They can be driven up to 100 miles with the oil warning light on.
11. They need cleaning less often, especially inside.
12. The suspension and trunk floor are reinforced to allow concrete slabs and other heavy building materials to be carried.
13. They are adapted to allow reverse to be engaged while the car is still in forward motion.
14. The tire side walls are designed for bumping into and over curbs.
15. Unusual and alarming engine noises are easily eliminated by the adjustment of the radio volume control.
16. No security is needed. They may be left anywhere, unlocked, with the keys in the ignition.
17. They have special batteries that can be drained and jumped repeatedly without damaging the electrical system.
18. They come with "temporary" spares that are good for 50,000 miles.
19. They have specially reinforced bumpers for moving annoying objects, such as shopping carts and sub-compact cars in parking lots.
20. All repairs can be accomplished with the cheapest after-market parts available.
21. Parking brakes do not need to be dis-engaged to drive.
22. When parking on a hill, it is safe to leave it gear and ignore the parking brake.
23. The upholstery is impervious to stains, burns, and makeup.
24. They are easily parked in spaces intended for much smaller cars.
25. They are bullet-proof, so you can be as obnoxious behind the wheel as you want to be.
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I uh, can vouch for number 2. I had a Cavalier sedan as a rental car a couple years back, I didn't know that they could accelerate so fast!
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Rental cars are better than regular cars because...
1. They travel faster in all gears, especially reverse.
2. They accelerate at a phenomenal rate.
3. They enjoy a much shorter braking distance.
4. They can take bumps at twice the speed of private cars.
5. Oil, battery, tire pressures and fluid levels do not need to be checked nearly so often.
6. They have a much tighter turning radius.
7. The floor is shaped like an ashtray.
8. They only burn the cheapest gas available.
9. They do not have to be garaged at night.
10. They can be driven up to 100 miles with the oil warning light on.
11. They need cleaning less often, especially inside.
12. The suspension and trunk floor are reinforced to allow concrete slabs and other heavy building materials to be carried.
13. They are adapted to allow reverse to be engaged while the car is still in forward motion.
14. The tire side walls are designed for bumping into and over curbs.
15. Unusual and alarming engine noises are easily eliminated by the adjustment of the radio volume control.
16. No security is needed. They may be left anywhere, unlocked, with the keys in the ignition.
17. They have special batteries that can be drained and jumped repeatedly without damaging the electrical system.
18. They come with "temporary" spares that are good for 50,000 miles.
19. They have specially reinforced bumpers for moving annoying objects, such as shopping carts and sub-compact cars in parking lots.
20. All repairs can be accomplished with the cheapest after-market parts available.
21. Parking brakes do not need to be dis-engaged to drive.
22. When parking on a hill, it is safe to leave it gear and ignore the parking brake.
23. The upholstery is impervious to stains, burns, and makeup.
24. They are easily parked in spaces intended for much smaller cars.
25. They are bullet-proof, so you can be as obnoxious behind the wheel as you want to be.
--------------------
I uh, can vouch for number 2. I had a Cavalier sedan as a rental car a couple years back, I didn't know that they could accelerate so fast!
Thats a long list
09-Aug-2003, 07:40 PM
#4
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Paradise
Posts: 2,766
I love abusing rentals
when i rented a rental once on a rainy day , i put the hand brake up and floored it in drive , awesome smoke show LOL
Brought back the poor civic with Bald tires
And the interior stunk like rubber
I was expermenting
Poor Future owner :cry:
when i rented a rental once on a rainy day , i put the hand brake up and floored it in drive , awesome smoke show
LOLBrought back the poor civic with Bald tires
And the interior stunk like rubber
I was expermenting
Poor Future owner :cry:
09-Aug-2003, 11:48 PM
#8
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 12,906
i've had a slew of rental cars... my first one was a chevy celebrity... i was sure a celebrity in that one.... then i got a 99 cavalier 4 door automatic.. shivers... the parking brake was very strong in this car.... could be pull at 60 and both wheels would lock.... the next one was a late 80 ford escort 4 door auto... believe it or not this car was worse then the tempo i used to drive.... and my most recent rental was a 2003 cavalier with 2000 kms on it.... it really didn't have much going for it... but it was rallyd behind sheridan college for a day.... brisk20 if you read this you can confirm it was a decent rally car... it was actually better then the tempo at rally cause there was no clutch slip or gear grinding...
well thats my story about rental cars.... for $30 a day its a great way to spend the day
well thats my story about rental cars.... for $30 a day its a great way to spend the day
10-Aug-2003, 10:48 AM
#9
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Location: Seething with anger at idiotic drivers on Steeles Avenue
Posts: 2,607
As a result of my personal experience with rental cars, I would NEVER buy one of those used cars you see advertised in the paper with pretty low prices because they're former rental cars!
10-Aug-2003, 06:31 PM
#11
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Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Pickering
Posts: 455
hahaha, i love rentals, had a 2003 Toyota Camry, 99 Vw Golf, 99 Ford Windstar, and ummmm... An Echo, needless to say those cars went in for a good run
I think we brought the golf back with like 20% tread, and i think the E-brake on the windstar got a pretty good work out on, wanted to test it while driving in circles
I think we brought the golf back with like 20% tread, and i think the E-brake on the windstar got a pretty good work out on, wanted to test it while driving in circles
11-Aug-2003, 09:42 AM
#12
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: B-Dott
Posts: 790
I can confirm about the rallying behind sheridan college (where there are no cars/people so it's safe) and wow ... I can tell you that e-brake was very grabby... When we hit the one corner and yanked it .. thought the cavalier was going to tip right over.... great time thou 
11-Aug-2003, 09:46 AM
#13
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 12,906
ya it definately had a tip hazard to it... it was such a softly sprung car... but that lets it soak up the pot holes and other bumps that should be slowed down for.... i actually returned the cavalier covered in mud.... it was classic... hahaha
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