OcTaNeTeDdY

Everything I Need to Know in Life, I Learned from Video Games
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The following 20 maxims were compiled by Brian Raffel of Raven Software.

1. There's no problem that cannot be overcome with violence.
2. You can overcome most adversaries simply by having enough quarters.
3. If it moves, KILL IT!
4. Operating any vehicle or weapon is simple and requires no training.
5. "Bosses" always hire henchmen weaker then they are to do their dirty work.
6. If you find food lying on the ground, eat it.
7. You can smash things and get away with it (smashing things doesn't hurt,
and many nice things are hidden inside other things).
8. When someone dies, they disappear!
9. Money is frequently found lying in the streets.
10. All shopkeepers carry high tech weaponry.
11. You never run out of bullets, only grenades.
12. Ninjas are common and fight in public frequently.
13. Whenever huge, evil, fat men are about to die, they start flashing.
14. When you are born, you are invulnerable for a brief period of time.
15. Although the enemy always has more aircraft than you, they fly in
predictable patterns which makes it easier to shoot them all down.
16. All women wear revealing clothes and have great bodies.
17. The enemy always leaves weapons and ammo lying around for no apparent
reason other than to allow their opponents to pick it up and defeat them
with it.
18. You sustain injury if you hurt innocents.
19. Gang members frequently all look the same, and often have the same names.
20. When driving, don't worry if your vehicle crashes or explodes. A new one
will appear in its place.

Additional observations by game designers:

- Important things are always turned on by overly large buttons in the middle of
a floor or wall. (Robert Duffy, id Software)
- Scientists are wusses. (ibid.)
- Always run from flaming skulls; no good can come of them. (ibid.)
- Lightning guns and water don't mix. (Kenn Hoekstra, Raven Software)
- Blue keys open blue doors. (ibid.)
- In any innocuous corridor, there is always a trap waiting to be sprung.
(Jake Simpson, Raven Software)
- If an object has a '+' on it, it's good for you. (John Romero, ION Storm)
- If you see a long room with what you are looking for at the other end of it,
go get health immediately. (Tom Hall, ION Storm)
- Keep all your best stuff on ridiculously high pedestals. (ibid.)
- To hatch evil plans, it helps to be surrounded by lava. (ibid.)
- When you feel like life's gonna take a turn for the worse, press F6. (ibid.)

to number 16!!!!!

cosmic zx2

imported_gatherer

lmao

diesel

1. There's no problem that cannot be overcome with violence.

Nova_Dust

Awesome Ray, LOL

CiViC [-_-] BoY ™

omg
1 threw 20 sound like DOUBLE DRAGON!!

thats the best

6. If you find food lying on the ground, eat it.
8. When someone dies, they disappear!
9. Money is frequently found lying in the streets.
13. Whenever huge, evil, fat men are about to die, they start flashing.(remember A BO BO)

T-Shirt Ninja

LOL that was great, and all too familiar....