Toronto Drivers
17-Nov-2003, 05:45 PM
#1
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Seething with anger at idiotic drivers on Steeles Avenue
Posts: 2,607
Toronto Drivers
The Following are the Rules that all people in Toronto must observe while driving a motor vehicle:
1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Toronto driver never uses them.
2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance
you have of getting hit.
4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended.
5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. Ontario is a no-fault insurance province and the other guy doesn't have anything to lose.
6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.
7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to scare people entering the highway.
8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are apparently not enforceable in Toronto during rush hour.
9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a Toronto driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.
10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire. You may know the person and be able to mention it to them later, although you have no intention of stopping and helping them now.
11. Learn to swerve abruptly. Toronto is the home of the high-speed slalom driving thanks to the Provincial Highway Department, which puts pot-holes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.
12. It is traditional in Toronto to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light turns green.
13. Remember that the goal of every Toronto driver is to get there
first by whatever means necessary.
14. In the Toronto area, 'flipping someone the bird' is considered a polite Toronto salute. This gesture should always be returned.
1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Toronto driver never uses them.
2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance
you have of getting hit.
4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended.
5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. Ontario is a no-fault insurance province and the other guy doesn't have anything to lose.
6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.
7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to scare people entering the highway.
8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are apparently not enforceable in Toronto during rush hour.
9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a Toronto driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.
10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire. You may know the person and be able to mention it to them later, although you have no intention of stopping and helping them now.
11. Learn to swerve abruptly. Toronto is the home of the high-speed slalom driving thanks to the Provincial Highway Department, which puts pot-holes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.
12. It is traditional in Toronto to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light turns green.
13. Remember that the goal of every Toronto driver is to get there
first by whatever means necessary.
14. In the Toronto area, 'flipping someone the bird' is considered a polite Toronto salute. This gesture should always be returned.
17-Nov-2003, 05:47 PM
#2
Registered User
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Seething with anger at idiotic drivers on Steeles Avenue
Posts: 2,607
While driving today I encountered a #2 while trying to change lanes. The guy in a Toyota Previa minivan sped up and started to tailgate a Jag so that I couldn't get in... I got in behind him eventually and we arrived at the red light at wow, the same time! 
I got this in my e-mail and thought that I'd share it with the rest of ya!
I got this in my e-mail and thought that I'd share it with the rest of ya!
17-Nov-2003, 07:39 PM
#4
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: A Place Called Ontario
Posts: 3,694
LOL that'z too much.....it'z true about any driving anywhere.......unless u live in the country....on the country rd back stretches.....then u make ur own rules as it is understood by some......
17-Nov-2003, 08:46 PM
#7
Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Montreal
Posts: 4,508
haha.. I hate bringing my civic to toronto for the following reasons..
A) everything on that list spikey shared with us, cuz its all true
B) fear of it being stolen
C) wrecking it on a huge pothole, or chopy parking lot entrence
D) Being harrased by the police, for haveing a civic!
And you have to pay rediculous amounts of money for parking everywhere, like whats up with that??...lol
A) everything on that list spikey shared with us, cuz its all true
B) fear of it being stolen
C) wrecking it on a huge pothole, or chopy parking lot entrence
D) Being harrased by the police, for haveing a civic!
And you have to pay rediculous amounts of money for parking everywhere, like whats up with that??...lol
17-Nov-2003, 11:14 PM
#9
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: on a race track
Posts: 17,846
Originally posted by ~ILLEST CIV~
LOL that'z too much.....it'z true about any driving anywhere.......unless u live in the country....on the country rd back stretches.....then u make ur own rules as it is understood by some......
LOL that'z too much.....it'z true about any driving anywhere.......unless u live in the country....on the country rd back stretches.....then u make ur own rules as it is understood by some......
I'm not guilty of many except the signaql thing that I tend to have a habit of forgetting when in the minivan....
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